Can we just smash cut to the final night so Peter can give Madison the Neil Lane ring and we can end all of this nonsense? The only redeeming factor in last night's episode was Peter finally got a bit of his sh*t together and gave Victoria P, My-kenna, Tammy, and Sydney a one-way ticket home on the crazy train, thus reducing the number of "likes" in the show by 66% or greater.
My Observations
Santiago is an amazing city with an amazing culture. I’m hungry. Let’s get a hot dog.
Hannah Ann: “I want to go deep. Let’s not stay on a superficial basis” Except for our conversations. We’ll keep those superficial. Whad’ya think?
I’m pretty sure Tammy playing her soap opera character as a maniacal killer wasn’t acting.
Peter: “I don’t know if I see you as my wife.”
Victoria: “What do you mean by that?”
Me: *yelling at the screen* “It means he wants to get a puppy. WTF do you think it means?”
Victoria, please stop calling Chase Rice your ex-boyfriend. You banged him in Charlotte for a soft pass and a deli tray. If that’s your definition of a boyfriend, Vegas is setting your boyfriend over/under line at 37.5.
Where can I buy one of those pancho things?
Just admit it Victoria F, the reason you’re not sure about Peter is because he isn’t married to one of your friends.
Can we get you anything for the ride home Tammy? Lithium perhaps?
Sydney averaged 23 likes per minute.
Do you regret getting rid of Lexi yet? Don’t lie. You do, don’t you?
My Week 6 Power Rankings
- Madison - I’m a happily married man and have been for nearly 30 years, but last night I finally found clarity and think I’m falling in love with Madison.
- Madison - See above.
- Madison - See above.
- Kelley - When she talks to Peter she has a charming way of tilting her head like a dog as if to say “I know your mouth is making sounds and they’re directed at me, but I have no f*ckin idea what they mean”.
- Natasha - She moves into the Top 5 because I couldn’t give Madison another spot and she’ll be gone next week anyway.
PHOTO: Getty Images/Misawa Air Base